Question! huh i am so tired dnt kno about this one random!!

A Goddess sitting alone in a garden, nothing to do but sit and wait.. wait for the time when she is called down from the heavens to earth to open the hearts of mankind. She watches the people as they kill each other... she ponders why must a man take anther's life, when it is not his to take? Another man is on the street corner getting high and drunk alone in the night, and again she ponders why a man would put those things in his body... She watches as a young girl is being told how pretty, and sexy she is as she is being raped by a man who is off his rocker.. and yet again she ponders to why this man has to take from this young girl.... I have pondered these things in fact myself. I am sure we all have.. And the only conclusion I can make is that man kills another because he is scared to kill himself. Man gets high and drunk because he is to scare to really live. And man takes from women because he had no love or respect for her. I been thinking about life a lot here of late. And I cant seem to get this thought out of my head. Why was I put here, in these time and place. I have been though so much more any most people could even dream of and all of this was before the age of 12, I have died and tried to kill myself so many times that I can not honestly give you a real number. Yet God leaves me here for what? What is the reason... I have no answers other than the fact that I know one day it will all come into light and that day will be glorious... I get this feeling that I am to help others, but I just cant figure out how to do so .. at least not yet.. I am writing a book about my so called life and the trials and tribulations I have been though it will shock some and other will think wow that's why she is so crazy... So to each their own let hope that someday we learn why we are here and  why we had to go though all that we did ... let hope that we fine we was here for something more than just to live... to help someone else grow and become a stronger person than that we were at their age .. Or that we just needed to learn a lesson of some kind... I think I have learned one to many lessons and I am tried of learning I just want to move on and help teach someone else! ahah