pondering of a rambling loon!(some a of convo I had with a dear friend the rest added later)

I was just thinking about how one can feel so close to someone that they never laid eyes on yet feel worlds apart from the very people in their life's that they see every day. Then I questioned whether it is wrong to live your life loving and longing for a day when you can find that one missing piece of the puzzle or should you give up on the idea and just go on living every day with a hole in your heart? I ask this to a friend and he/she told me I already know the answer to this question to that I replied if I knew the answer I wouldn't be ask you! I then said see the thing is that the easy answer would be to give up on it cause even if you find it how do u make it fit or make it work in the way you want ... but life is not easy at all, it wants to make things harder than need be its wants you to long and wait for something that will never come to be. So what is the rite answer, do you wait and hope and pray you don't miss out on something amazing because you was to busy looking for something else? Or do you dive in head first into every little moment that could bring you some kind of happiness. I feel lost and confused on this topic because I do both. I dive in to just about every little moment yet I keep part of me locked up tight waiting for that one special piece to feel whole. The sad thing is even when I do dive into those moments I don't really get the full effect because I'm not 100% open to it. So in a way I'm just a poser, I fake my happiness so that I don't bring  others down around me. That is till I speak with you, in those moments I smile no matter the words speak. In those moments I think of nothing but happy thoughts of getting to know you and wondering if that moment is just as joyful for you as it is for me!

RANDOM! Life? ( first of many to come)

The thing about life is you cant linger in one moment for to long .. you have got to look into the next one and hold on cause you never know in which way life will throw you.. I have been thrown around so much this last year I don't even know if my head is on straight anymore... I have found love and lost it .. I have found true happiness that went to the deepest depression I have ever seen. I have found health then became sick.. So I have come to find that even when you hold on you still get thrown off and you still fall down, and you still get hurt! However, I have also learned that you can experience all those things and feel like its the end of the world and come through to the other side smiling! I smile because of the warmth that the sun leaves on my face, I smile every time my son comes running up to me yelling "mommy, mommy, mom,mommy" I smile because of the friends and family that had stuck around no matter what happens, or how rude and nasty I may be to them. So life is a crazy and wild ride, but there is no need for a seat belt just grab on to that one thing that makes you smile and hold on tight and go along for the ride!