Ah to be a mother!

A friend posted an interesting question on her facebook today! She asked how someone who really wants children and would love them and care for them had difficulty in conceiving them and these woman who have no business having one child are having four or five? Well I thought about this for a few moments and I think its a great question. Coming from someone who was told at a young age(15) that it was highly unlikely that I would ever get pregnant or carry a fetus to term. I dealt with that information in my own way but the thought of having a child never left my mind. I did have some cysts removed when I was sixteen, because I was in so much pain and they had gotten so large I guess my gynecologist was worried about my well being. I then found that I have PSOD in my right ovary, and my left one pretty much does not work. A normal ovary and tube bend down but mine is special I guess, my tube is folded in half and my ovary itself if on top of where it should be. If I could drawl you a picture I would haha. But to put it in other words, even if my ovary did produce an ovum(egg) it probably wouldnt be able to slide down the tube to get to my uterus, and if it did more than likely It would have been damaged by trying to squeeze itself though the tube. I honestly never thought I would even get pregnant and that deeply upset me. The one thing that I wanted most in this life was to be a mommy, I am sure there are very few women in this world that grows up asking God to please dont let them have children they dont want them they dont need them. In 2000 two weeks before my birthday on September 23rd, I started the day happy and joyful, I thought I was having my normal period. It was the day my sister in-laws mother was getting married and I was helping out doing anything I could. Well by mid afternoon, I was in so much pain I couldnt do much of anything. I stuck it out and tryed my best to enjoy what was left of the day. When I got home I got in bed. I was hurting so bad at this point I thought I was dying. I started to pass these huge blood clots. I was so scared I woke up my mother and told her, at first she was like whatever your find your just getting another cyst so your period is heavy. She gave me a hydocodone and told me to lay back down. But I couldnt It hurt to lay, it hurt to stand, it just hurt! I went back to the bathroom and passed another huge clot and I woke my mother again, I had her look at it this time. Now she is freaking out not knowing what was going on. She takes me to the hospital. Oh the way there I am vomiting, I feel dizzy, and faint. I honestly thought I was about to dye. We then find out that I was pregnant about 3-5 weeks along. I was losing this baby that I didnt even now I was carrying. I thought how could this happen to me. Why did it happen. I thought about it for a really long time and I blamed my ex, still do in fact. Two days before I was at the hospital knowing what was going on, and one day before I started what I thought was my period, he and I got into a fight and he hit me very hard in the stomach. I had a picture perfect fist shape bruise right under my bellybutton. I honestly dont know if him hitting me caused this or if it was just not meant to be. So long story short, I am a Mommy he will be two very soon. He is the best thing that has ever happen to me I wouldnt trade him for all the money, gold or anything not even Johnny Depp hahah... So my thoughts on the question she asked... I think everything happens for a reason, that babies are born to do something in this world. These young girls who know nothing about life but how to open their legs are having this kids for a reason. This child may need to be born into that kind of life to learn, to grow, to be something more. And girls that want nothing more than to be a mother that cant maybe they are meant to save one of those children from their bio-mothers. I just know that we as humans will never understand how life really works. Not till we get to where we are going and we have the change to ask God why, or how, or who.. I personally never really or should I say I try not to questions Gods plans for me.(thats a whole different blog) My final thought.... Just look around at what you have, not what you need, or what you want. But the things God has blessed you with already. And dont worry to much life because God will give you what you need, you only have to look between the line.. My favorite quote is "Never take like to seriously because you will never get out alive" I dont know who wrote it but I love it... Its the quote of my life.